Everything Looks Perfect From Far Away

I don't care what your wallet looks like or what it contains.
I don't care what car you drive.
I don't care what you do to your hair.
I don't care if your spoons are rusty and your shoes have holes.
I don't care whether or not you like beer.
I don't care how big your ears are, how crooked your nose is.
I don't care if you like Pepsi or Coke.
I don't care if you eat meat.
I don't care if your a vegan.
I don't care whether or not you think Kathy Griffin is funny. (I do, I do, I do)
I don't care if you like Pink Floyd.
I don't care if your afraid of thunder storms.
I don't care if you sing in the shower.
I don't care if you scream when no one is home.
I don't care where you come from.
I don't care about how bad you used to be.
I don't care if you make mistakes.
I don't care if you bring me diamonds, rubies, or pearls.
I don't care if you hate musical theater.
I don't care whether or not you believe in God.
I don't care how much weed you smoke.
I care about how you treat your little sister.
I care where you're going.
I care if you change.
I care about the decisions you make.
I care what words you say.
I care about how you show you love me.

I Actually...

Miss having you here.

Love the way the stars remind me of everything.

Love when you smell like stale cigarettes.

Love the way Iron and Wine sounds.

Wish Micheal Jackson could have lived long enough for me to see him perform.

Like driving when I'm a little bit stoned.

Wish we could be friends, even though I know we can't.

Want to forgive you.

Really don't want you to go so far away.

Love you as much as I ever have and I won't ever stop.

Am jealous of you.

Don't want to look, but I do anyway.

Don't want to ask, but I do anyway.

Don't want to know, but find out anyway.

Really, really love my life, and the art of being alive.

Beautiful Things

We are made up entirely
Of black and white stones
That fill us
And keep us grounded
So that We don't
Float away.
This is fitting
Seeing as we are all
So Goddamn scared
Of moving
And of idleness,
Contradicting ourselves,
Holding ourselves back,
Pushing us over,
Running,
Growing old,
Growing young.
We don't make a lick of sense.
We are real
And fake.
We can listen to the same song
On repeat
Over and over and over
And over and over and over
Again
Because it fills us with a feeling
That we don't want to lose.
It reminds us of our dog
We lost,
We loved.
It reminds us of our childhood
We lost,
We loved,
We hated.
It reminds us of our friends
We lost,
We loved,
We hated,
We remember.
We envy and we create jealousy
Because we can not (or quite possibly refuse)
To see how ridiculously blessed we are
In every aspect of our lives.
We can not be thankful
For a peace of toast when we wake up
Welcoming us into the world
And saying
Hello!
Come along for the ride!
Don't we see
That the world is full of beautiful things.
Pink bicycles,
Cupcakes,
Paper and ink,
Green tennis shoes,
Grass,
Mandolins,
Smiling faces,
Old friends,
Wedding cakes,
Accents,
Miss spelled words,
The handwriting of a six year old,
Tears, for a thousand different reasons,
Christmas gifts,
Finding stories in the clouds,
Indoor plumbing,
Outdoor showers,
Heartbeats.



I Googled beautiful things, here's what the world came up with:

Insomnia

Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Insomnia
Sucks.

Come Find Me

I saw a monster today.
He looked me in the eye,
Asked me not to run.
He smelled of cheese fondue.
I screamed
"Fuck you"
And ran anyway.
I tripped
On a rock,
Like they do in the movies,
And he caught up to me,
Asked me why I ran.
He had two horns
On the top of his head.
He scooped me up
In hands the size of mountains,
With claws and scabs
And unidentifiable fingers.
He held me close to his chest
And I could hear his breathing.
I didn't know it,
But monsters breathe air too.
As we walked
He explained things to me
And told me
The sole purpose for going insane.
His skin felt like plaster

And looked like a marshmallow

Once it's caught on fire

And then blown out.

He carried me into the woods,

Into the dark and the silence.

I was afraid.

I didn't struggle.

He had eyes the size of cabbages

That wouldn't sit still,

Like he was always looking

For something.

We ended in a clearing

Deep in the woods.

He set me down on leaves

And twigs and sticks and things.

He asked me not to run,

So I didn't.

I listened and I obeyed

A monster.

Who I Am

I am from the house in the middle of the woods, wading in the water and poking fun at witches.

I am from yelling, bickering, fighting, crying.

I am from asking for a glass of water and a sandwich.

I am from being unable to provide.

I am from a cube, a box, a brick building.

I am from suffering and forgetfulness.

I am from salamanders and toads and spiders.

I am from snakes crawling through the yard.

I am from the cookie jar, I am blamed for being from the cookie jar.

I am from a habitat.

I am from years of not knowing and trying to discover.

I am from failures and I am from success.

I am from a life without enough church.

I am from smoke, pipes, and platters full of wine.

I am from the bushes.

I am from the bamboo sticks, the corn fields, the birdbaths.

I am from incense.

I am from one mother, one father. But not exactly.

I am from one sister. But not exactly.

I am from faces, friends, families.

I am from education.

I am from books, from paper and from pencils.

I am from a backwards brain.

I am from a world.

I am from a life.

I am from everything, anything, and nothing.

Who are you?

I Love You.

You are remembered
In the scents you left behind,
In all the colors,
The shades of brown and black
I can still see.
You are remembered
When I hear strangers in the woods
Crying, the same way you did
And yelling at those they can't see.
You are remembered
When friends ask about you
And when kids cry
Because you aren't there.
You are remembered
When the questions sting
Like a needle sowing stitches through my heart.
You are remembered
When my mother says no,
When her boyfriend reminds me
How much I don't know him
And how I've heard the stories before.
You are remembered
When I expect to see you,
Lying on the couch,
Squirming with excitement when I get home,
Dying for a car ride.
You are remembered
When I try not to remember
Because it hurts
So Bad.
But then I remember.
Then I feel
When I wish I wouldn't feel
And I yell
When I wish I wouldn't yell
And I pretend
When I don't have the energy to pretend
And I remember
When I wish I wouldn't remember.
But you are remembered.