I have fallen completely head-over-heels in love with my boyfriend, and have just come to realize it for the first time. It is a fantastic and a terrifying feeling. I want to leave in 8 months more than anything. I want to stay with him for eternity more than anything. I am a naive 17 year old girl and don't know how else to feel. I hope some day I am old and read this and laugh at how silly I was. I will laugh because I will be with this boy or I will not be with this boy, and either way I will be where I am supposed to be, and this 17 year old me will seem so very silly.
I miss the old boy and look forward to new boys. I miss the old days and look forward to new days. I miss my old t-shirts and I look forward to new ones. I miss spirit weeks and I look forward to a college that most likely does not have a football team. I miss playing flashlight tag on late summer nights and I look forward to one day watching my children play. I miss my sister and I look forward to discovering who she is. I miss old years and I look forward to new years.
I could look forever at meaningless things: smiling faces of people I have never met, purses and shoes I could never afford, lost puppies I could never save. I could look forever in the mirror, examining my face and understanding the circles under my eyes. I really could lay in his arms forever (this love, even though it is my own, has just made me cry a little, happiness is a wonderful thing). I could look forever at a shoebox of the world, holding every little secret and every sacred thing.
I have faith in the human race. We are all going somewhere, and many know where they are going. To many, it is an adventure. My path is a mix of the two; I have ideas but I hope the universe throws in a few twists. If it sticks to my story I am bound to get bored.
This, the first day of 2010, the year I graduate high school, the year I turn 18, the year I move away from home, is just about over.
Here is my resolution:
To find the place I want to be, or at least be a step closer to the end.
Happy New Year
I miss the old boy and look forward to new boys. I miss the old days and look forward to new days. I miss my old t-shirts and I look forward to new ones. I miss spirit weeks and I look forward to a college that most likely does not have a football team. I miss playing flashlight tag on late summer nights and I look forward to one day watching my children play. I miss my sister and I look forward to discovering who she is. I miss old years and I look forward to new years.
I could look forever at meaningless things: smiling faces of people I have never met, purses and shoes I could never afford, lost puppies I could never save. I could look forever in the mirror, examining my face and understanding the circles under my eyes. I really could lay in his arms forever (this love, even though it is my own, has just made me cry a little, happiness is a wonderful thing). I could look forever at a shoebox of the world, holding every little secret and every sacred thing.
I have faith in the human race. We are all going somewhere, and many know where they are going. To many, it is an adventure. My path is a mix of the two; I have ideas but I hope the universe throws in a few twists. If it sticks to my story I am bound to get bored.
This, the first day of 2010, the year I graduate high school, the year I turn 18, the year I move away from home, is just about over.
Here is my resolution:
To find the place I want to be, or at least be a step closer to the end.
Happy New Year
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