Ghosts are the living memories that haunt your daily walk-abouts. Ghosts are what you run away from, turn away from, hide your face from. Ghosts are everything that exist that you are afraid to see. Ghosts are people and the places where car crashes have taken place, ghosts are liquor stores, bars, hotel rooms, movie theaters, books and photographs. Ghosts are bed sheets and bras and pillow cases. Ghosts are text-messages, voice mails and missed calls. Ghosts are phone bills. Ghosts are carnival grounds and fishing poles and shades of lipstick that are no longer worn. Ghosts are scents of perfume. Ghosts are the living memories that haunt your daily walk-abouts. Ghosts are reminders of living in the past.

Everything is boring me, except for my dreams, and I hate going to sleep.

Everything is boring me but I hate to go to sleep.

2010

To be nowhere is to fall in-love. To sit silently covered in day break, watching as everything disappears, is to be in-love. To stop counting backwards as the universe unfolds is to understand what love in the moment, love, is. When everything is on me, all over me, around me, I can feel the moment standing underneath of me, watching me hold my love.

I am the morning, the evening, the moon contorting the waves. I am what I promised I would be. I found love within honesty, within trust and promising to be everything I was willing to be. I was able to move across the world and hold onto my own, sit with myself inside my home. I was able to see everything, and share it with my love. I was not remote-controlling the movement of my sea, but allowing it to carry me. With it ever cradling, rocking me, I felt love in my love.

I quit sleeping; I instead find peace in drinking water, in holding hands and in writing letters. I would almost rather listen to my keyboard than a song.

Close call. I create because I can, because I am. I create because I don't need to sleep to fall in-love. I create because I am human, I am no special breed of thing. I am a part of language and a part of my words. I am a piece of a soul that is a piece of a soul that when whole creates, just like me.

Congratulations Andrea.

Sincerely,

Me.

I poison myself daily.

Acknowledge it.

Poison myself again.

Why do we enjoy feeling like we're dying?

i dont care if you dont believe it, but you are just like the rest of us. a big cluster fuck of protons swimming around each other trying to trick us into believing that they are not God. but they are.